Favorite Book

I love One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest for a whole array of reasons. I really find mental illness and the history of psychiatric treatments fascinating. The period of time in the 1950’s and 1960’s when 1 in 3 families admitted a member to a psychiatric ward, where the doctors knew very little about how to deal with the patients, really interests me.  It is a unique subject because it shows science going down a dark path with high mortality rates from lobotomies, patient abuse, “brain buring” (electric shock therapy), and other experimental procedures, and then taking a turn for the better as modern science advanced (178). So basically, I just find the content that this novel deals with really interesting. Also, Ken Kesey is the man. I would be lying if I said that the author of this book discovering the Grateful Dead, holding crazy acid parties, hanging out in a insane asylum, and driving a hippie van around the country, did not make me love this book before we even read it. No matter how you look at it, this guy rocks. Also, the writing style depicts another reason why I love this novel. The creeping feeling of doubt in everything the narrator says makes the book seem even more crazy and content appropriate as Kesey brilliantly leaves some facts unclear. This helps his point that “it’s the truth even if it didn’t happen”, and this whole idea really appealed to me (8). Throughout the entire book, a detached, eerie feeling put the audience in the characters shoes as you “float…more lost than ever” through it,  and this made the vibe of the book really unique (136). This novel also prompted some undeniably great class discussions and comments. For example, when Ms. Serensky posed the question, “Does anyone know anything about Cuckoo birds?” and Thomas responded with something like, “Don’t they come out of clocks on the hour?”. Without this book, such an epic interaction could not have taken place. Lastly, something that may sway my personal love of this book is the fact that we concluded studying it by watching Inception…enough said. Overall, I loved the experience of reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Top 10 Most Thrilling Academic Moments of my High School Career

1) First Day of High School: it does not seem like much because there actually was very little academic learning that went on, and in reality “You did nothing” that first day…but it still seems list worthy (Currie 292). After receiving about a hundred of those various colored sheets outlining classroom rules, curriculum plans, and safety precautions, the thrill of starting off as an actual high school student blew my 14 year old mind.

2) First Football Game with High School Marching Band: I think that because band is a class during the day, and has really expanded my music knowledge throughout high school… this should count as an academic moment. Despite some well-deserved fear of our instructor and still slight inability to play our instruments…this first game was simply a thrill. As nerdy as it may sound, Marching Band made some of my favorite high school memories and there is not doubt in my mind that after that first game, “I was ready for more”(Wilde 31).

3) Winning during Ms. Beach’s Beach Bingo: to review for the final exam, Ms. Beach made this really interesting Bingo game with characters and quotes from all of the books we had studied that year. After much anticipation, making shirts, and doing some good trash-talking before the game day to other classmates…it becomes clear why being a winner and getting to choose a prize (which ended up as an awesome troll doll pen) makes my top 10 thrilling moments. In high school “it isn’t easy to be anything”…especially a prize winning Beach’s Bingo Bud (Wilde 7)

4) Getting my Computer Graphics piece picked for the art show: I am not trying to deny anything here, I know that my brother sucked most of the visual art talent genes from our gene pool. So, when Ms. Serazin chose one of my pieces for the art show, I was truly thrilled and honored. It really shows how “anything, anything, anything is possible”(Currie 302).

5) First Chinese Field Trip: a first in the line of many fun excursions including eating at Hunan, going to shady grocery stores and restaurants downtown, going to the downtown library (for the foreign movies section?), in-school field trips to make Chinese food in the home-ec room, or making a mini china town somewhere. This first field trip started everything and cannot be excluded from my best academic moments of high school for obvious reasons. This first thrilling field trip helps me think back to how “those were good times” (Currie 152)

6) First Day of AP English 11: all the scared juniors walk into Ms. Serensky’s class and suddenly our lives change forever as we do that one writing exercise and realize we have stepped onto a whole new level. This class suddenly starts preparing us for college in a new, frightening way, as we realize that AP English “is a little world Inside that is a made-to-scale prototype of the big world Outside”(Kesey 50).

7) Passing the AP Calc AB Test: I am not exactly a math brained person, so you can imagine that Calculus and me just did not mix well. Throughout my entire Junior year, I struggled through almost every unit of Mr. Maas’ class. Somehow, I fought my way through and pulled off a 4 on the AP Test…so the first time seeing this score has to make my top 10 moments. So even through I was extremely doubtful of my ability to not epically fail this test…”nothing is guaranteed”, and somehow I passed (Currie 264).

8) First Data Sheet Turn-in: that unparalleled, amazing feeling of setting that huge piece of work onto Ms. Serensky’s desk and finally having time to eat, sleep and do anything else but analyze, has to make my list. Our obsession over making those papers “the visible personification of absolute perfection” led to endless distress…but it all was worth it for that ending thrill (Wilde 31).

9) First Blog Banter Appearance: the famed blog banter not only gives the mentioned student personal pride and satisfaction, but also excitement to blog again and see if they can keep up their streak of success. My first blog banter appearance occurred after writing my Inception related post and the “ritual of [my] existence” in English class suddenly changed as Ms. Serensky mentioned this entry (Kesey 64). This thrilling moment of hearing my name and work mentioned for the first time in that line up definitely deserves a spot on the top 10 moments list.

10) Finally Choosing a College: Since this one actually happened only about 3 hours ago, this has to take the cake for my most thrilling academic moment thus far. Finally sending that conformation email and realizing that all the stress, toil and drama over figuring out the right school has ended. Making that permanent decision left me with a feeling that “I was flying. Free”(Kesey 324). 

Favorite Poem

My favorite poem from this year was probably “Sestina”. I like reading poems with interesting structure and style, and this specific style I did not even know existed until we studied this work in class. The closely tied stanzas of the poem with the repetition of certain words really appealed to me. I also like poetry that uses metaphors and personification to explore the meaning, which this poem also contained. I think this may also be my favorite from the year because I decided to attempt to write a sestina for a previous blog, so I gained an appreciation for how difficult it really is to write in such a specific style. Even though this poem was sad, I think it strove to “seek the meaning in sorrow” as it explored the Grandma and child’s opposite ways of dealing with some ominous depressing occurrence (292). Somehow this poem had a slight tinge of hope and happiness even with all the downtrodden imagery, which made it really brilliant and complex. Also, the poe dealt with the complex idea that  “Everything ends” (292).  This pessimistic point can sometimes weigh down a work, but I liked how in this poem it was seen as in inevitability that must be overcome as the characters dealt with their sorrow. This poem also used trivial main subject words like “stove”, which really made me like it because it used concrete small ideas to represent the bigger message it attempted to convey. This poem seemed to answer the question “Does anything I do matter” as it used small ideas and actions to symbolize bigger ideas, giving a positive answer to this question(9). Overall, studying this poem left me satisfied with the hidden meaning it conveyed and also I am glad I was exposed to this new style of poetry. 

Best Day

I walk through that familiar threshold of the AP English room with Haley and Tina right behind, as we realize that something has changed. This day felt different. Finally, our turn to teach a poem exactly the way we wanted to while everyone else (including Ms. Serensky) had to play along. So naturally, we chose to open our day with some game-show challenges from Haley’s “minute to win it” book that we spent forever looking at the night before. Maybe it was the hours of sitting in Haley’s basement trying the challenges, gathering supplies, and making the lesson plan that made us all so excited…or maybe it was just the pure anticipation of waiting to see our classmates run to sort skittles, eat oreos without their hands, pick up bags with their mouths, and carry cotton balls with their noses. As the games start, everyone begins rushing around “dreadfully tired and strained and frantic” as the challenges insight a hilarious panic in everyone in the class (Kesey 218). Our hard work already starts to pay off as laughing fills the entire room and we then move on to the mustache discussion. As we pass out paper mustaches to the class and watch everyone take them to their face, we calmly explain how everyone must have a normal discussion and attempt to ignore this distraction. We take our seats and I glance around the room and can not hold back a smile as everyone’s uniform facial hair looks beyond ridiculous. I even think that a normal discussion may be “a complete impossibility”(Wilde 6). The discussion lags at first as everyone adjusts to their new image, but soon it starts to roll and the time flies by.  The bell rings and I suddenly feel sad, realizing that our power over the lesson for an AP English class had vanished. But, we can not deny that “Everything ends” and leave the class after a great day (Currie 292).

Lane Meets Ralph

Ralph: Hello there. What brings you to my campsite just a few days before the apocalypse?

Lane: Hello. Well, my name is Lane and I have just been wandering around trying to find my employer, Algernon Moncrieff.

Ralph: Well, there is really no use in finding him now…on account that there are only a couple more days to live.  

Lane: “Well there were no cucumbers in the market this morning”, so I left this afternoon to check the market again, and when I returned Algernon had disappeared (8). As his manservant, I thought it my duty to go search for him.

Ralph: Are you even listening to me? The world is ending in about 48 hours, so I think “you’re free to do what you want”(249). You are not tied down in your position any longer.

Lane: “I didn’t think it polite to listen, sir”(1).

Ralph: Okay…well I was talking to you, so I think it would have been…

Lane: Sorry, “I do my best to give satisfaction, sir”, and did not mean any disrespect by it (18).

Ralph: Alright…well stop calling me ‘sir’ and pull up a chair. “I’ve got the beer”, and take a load off, because chances are you’re not going to find this ‘Algernon’ in time (242).

Lane: No thanks, the “superior quality of…wine” makes me detest beer (1). But I really don’t understand this apocalypse talk. I haven’t heard anything previously mentioned about it. It’s making me rather uneasy. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna get real weird with it being mentioned over and over again like this.

Ralph: Never heard of it? “I don’t mean this to sound rude”, but how is that possible? (249). It quite literally is the most important news in the world right now. Do you listen to any news? “Not much, I’m guessing?”(251)

Lane: Now that you mention it, I believe I heard something about it. But “I never think of it myself”(2)…not too interesting in my opinoin. There is nothing fashionable about depressing talk like that.  If you excuse me, I really should continue searching.

Ralph: Wow. Okay, good luck to you.

Lane: “Thank you, Sir”(2).

Bromden's Rough English Day

I step into the room and suddenly sense that they all know my secret and I immediately become paranoid. The doctors said real life scenarios might help me improve, so here I am in Ms. Serensky’s AP English 12 8th period class. I tentatively take the end seat, and notice everyone’s eyes on me as I attempt to ignore their glances. I shrink and shrink until my huge Indian body seems to have withered away to nothing. The class discussion begins and everyone takes turns talking, and this quickly turns into panic inside me because “I been silent so long now it's gonna roar out of me like floodwaters”(8). But I can not let them know that I am not actually a deaf mute. That would ruin everything I have worked so hard to create and the same situation applies here as in the ward, right? So I just stare straight ahead and attempt to not react to any comments said and brush off the kid called Henry sitting next to me that keeps blurting out “I DISAGREE!” at everyone. At one point he even turns straight at me and says his signature phrase, and I use all my self control to not turn and say it straight back to him. The chaos continues as I let myself “get lost” in the fog that has slowly been drifting in throughout the entire class period (23). The last twenty minutes seems like days as the fog covers my eyes and I suddenly notice my single desk floating away from the rest of the class. The day only worsens as the discussion turns in a direction about mental health care and I still have to control myself and look off blankly into the distance as I am forced to listen to these naïve students that know only bare, unfeeling facts about the matter. I somehow make it through the class, and suddenly I wake up in my normal bed in the ward but have no recollection of how I got there. The fog is still so thick that the past English class seems like some distant dream as I looks back….”But it's the truth even if it didn't happen”(8). 

Letter to Junior

Dear Junior,

I just want you to know that I feel your pain. I decided to write you this letter about my AP English 11 class so you can have the much deserved sympathy, and also know that you are not alone. Similar to you, I often felt that the world was coming to an end in Ms. Serensky’s class (which it was not…that is the only main difference). But I do understand your feeling of impending doom as we often dealt with nervously awaiting discussions, in-class essays, and encounters with our new teacher. AP English 11 soon became our own personal “Destroyer of Worlds” as it started to take over our homework time, conversations, and lives. At least this was how our scared eleventh-grader minds saw it. “Paralyzed by the fear that [we’ll] screw it up” depicted a constant feeling in this class. The fear of messing up anything weighed down on everyone, whether they want to admit it or not.  Some classic situations we feared; pronouncing a word or character name wrong, getting lower than a 5 on an essay, disappointing Ms. Serensky, being a bummer of a writing partner, writing an essay on the wrong section, talking too much or too little in class, not annotating a book correctly, not bringing exact change to the give-Ms. Serensky-cash day, or screwing up in any other way. All these pressures we placed on ourselves in AP English 11. Maybe Ms. Serensky held “responsibility for a portion of [our] despair”, but I think most was self-inflicted an unnesecary. I can not deny that some of these fears most definitely carried through to AP 12, but just in a lesser amount. Similar to how your despair in the first universe was majorly your own fault as you focused too much on the inevitable…we did the same. For example, the inevitability that no matter how much time we worried over essays, they came anyway. Or the inevitability of feeling nervous and slighty nauseas before getting a paper returned.  Looking back at AP English 11, I think we “spent too much time trying to hide from the inevitable”, just like you also discovered.  The best times in AP English 11 definitely happened when we decided to live in the moment and not worry about the essay next week, the pages we have for reading, or anything else. But let’s be real…my frightened eleventh grade self lacked the ability to see this. So basically, if you want to hear that other people suffer through similar situations  as you (just on a slightly different level), just have a conversation about AP English 11 with any of my classmates.

Sincerely,

Carolyn